Alexander The Great

November 20, 2008

The Economy is So Bad – We’re All Nigerians?

Filed under: Modern Life — alexanderthegreatest @ 10:32 pm

Jon Stewart made the joke that our economy has tanked so badly under Bush’s stewardship, that Americans are now writing emails to Nigerians, asking for help smuggling the funds.  (“Don’t fall for it!  It’s a trick.”)

Truth is sometimes almost as strange as fiction.  This is an email that made it somehow through the spam detector

Hello, My name is Jean Malik, employed to work in Iraq as a language translator. I am attached to 1st BN, 68th Amour Reg, 3rd Heavy Brigade Combat Team, 4th Infantry as an interpreter. As you aware, we were being attacked everyday by insurgents through hostile fire and car bombs. SOURCE OF FUNDS: In April 2003, I and some other crew members in my team discovered $650M USD in Saddam Hussein’s palace. In the process of cross-checking the funds, I and my unit head managed to move away a total sum of US$12 Million dollars cash out of the $650MUSD, mostly 100-dollar bills and was quickly flown out of the war zone as a military cargo. The cargo was later disguised and declared as personal military effects before it was flown to Europe where it is now deposited in an undisclosed FINANCE, SECURITY & TRUST COMPANY. You can as well click on the site below for more details about the source of the funds. The site will give you a bit of idea of our operation and how I came about the fund though the security & finance company where the cash consignments are deposited is not aware of all this information. Unfortunately, my colleagues lost their dear life through hostile fire from the wicked Iraqi insurgents. I therefore seek your! partnership in claiming and receiving the cash consignments from the finance and security firm where the cash consignments are deposited for safety for possible investments on viable businesses of mutual beneficial interest. I will take 60% while you are going to be entitled to 40% for your participation and assistance. I wish to inform you also that it is my fervent wish to leave the United Kingdom as soon as we successfully and smoothly conclude the transaction. Upon your response, I will send you the full details of the Security & Trust Company in whose custody the funds are lodged as well as the modalities of claiming and receiving the cash consignments. But you must assure me and demonstrate it that you can be trusted as I need your unwavering assurances. I am presently in the United Kingdom where I am presently receiving treatment due to injuries sustained after our convoy came under heavy fire in a suburb area of Baghdad. Please reconfirm your full names, address an! d direct phone number immediately so that I can submit the inf! ormation to the finance firm where the cash consignments are deposited for change/transfer of ownership in your favour to enable you claim and receive the funds. I promise you that there is no risk on both sides as far as you follow my instructions and take my advice. The transaction will be concluded under a legitimate arrangement. Respectfully yours, Malik

(Notice the decent grammar, unusual word choices, and downright bizarre use of exclamation marks?)


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