Alexander The Great

February 23, 2009

You Forgot Poland

Filed under: Humor — alexanderthegreatest @ 10:01 pm

Another somewhat abstract gem from Cyanide and Happiness.

December 30, 2008

72 Virgins + A Surprise

Filed under: Humor — alexanderthegreatest @ 7:05 pm

They were mentioned on Family Guy, Fox’s stoner cartoon show. Seth Green likes gags, especially cutting to a bizarre interpretation of something that was just said. Peter’s fantasy was for a suicide bomber to be “unpleasantly surprised” to find out the virgins waiting for him are the wrong gender.

72-virgins-family-guy

November 27, 2008

A bit of light humor

Filed under: Humor — alexanderthegreatest @ 10:37 pm

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November 18, 2008

I Want to Film PETA’s Next Commercial

Filed under: Humor — alexanderthegreatest @ 6:57 pm
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This post has two parts. One is to say something juvenile before my wife cracks my head open with a frying pan. 😀 The other, has a bit to do with search engines. We’ll take these in reverse order.

I noticed that PETA is by far the most common term people are using to find my web site. This has been the case for some time now, but there was a spike of about 200 people yesterday, who came to The Great Library by searching for Peta. Now, I just checked Google (segue alert!) and found the video I’ll talk about in a moment, but I’m not on the first page for this search. Nor am I on the second page, or the third, or – well, I gave up at 5 pages.

It’s hard to imagine 200 people clicking search results buried tens of pages deep on the same day, let alone all of them conspiring to do this for the same word! And we’ve just got to the meat of this post. (Get it? There’s the beef!) Keywords have gone the way of the dodo. Not only is searchese expanding to an average of about 3.5 words per query, but, to any aspiring web content writer, aiming for individual words is folly. Unless the word you want to target is such an obscure mixture of Turkish, Javanese, and Yinglish (like Spanglish, a mix between Yiddish and English) that no one will ever search for it. Webmaster forums are filled with people asking how they can rank #1 for terms like “MySpace” and “video” – not only does this waste the content producer’s ill used time, it prevents the public from ever being able to find anything.

The language on the web, graphed, is the story of clustering. Most of the content on the English web centers around a not so large list of words. These are saturated. Rather than trying to push a car uphill, use richer descriptions. Don’t bludgen your noun phrase, but instead weave a tapestry around your concept.

Now, on to the pedantic. Have a look at Alicia Silverstone’s naked video for Peta. There’s a vague point being made, that she would rather go naked than wear fur (or cotton, apparently!), but it gets lost in the curves. Honestly, I don’t understand how this advertising campaign makes sense, from a marketing standpoint. I have respect for Peta’s stated goals, but, honestly, nobody viewing these ads is listening to the message. 😀 On that note, I wish I’d been a photographer, instead of a computer programmer, so that I might get paid to keep my mouth shut on these things, and to keep my eyes peeled! I guess the grass is always greener.

I guess it’s no more a secret that sex sells things (and ideas) than it is, that long tail is the future of search engine “optimization” (a silly misnomer implying that web site owners try their darnedest to optimize the performance or reliability of Google’s code base!).

PETAs Message

Turning her back on fur

Running of the bulls?

More PETA Europe

How many of you are thinking about animals, instead of just animalistically?

July 21, 2008

What Does This Look Like?

Filed under: Humor,Modern Life,Science — alexanderthegreatest @ 10:19 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Clades of the Christian Church

A clade is a branch (from the Greek).  Modern usage has this depict branches in a tree, and cladistics is the taxonomy of the tree of life.  Here is the source of the paradigm the chart above fits into

Phylogenetic tree of life

The tree of life

The circle is merely to conserve space – no metaphysics necessary. Notice how at the 5th and 6th level branchings, we se the beginnings of the pattern in the first chart, the one of Christian history?

Am I the only one who appreciates this irony?

Here’s a similar view of Linux distros – notice the children of Ubuntu

Linux

The idea is quite useful, because most things in our world fit into some type of hiercharchy, which lends itself to being shown as a tree. I’m a Christian myself, but I find it very amusing that Christian church history itself can be described by a series of 2 way forks – a perfect cladogram.

July 6, 2008

Dick Cheney as a Web Comic

Filed under: Humor — alexanderthegreatest @ 12:37 am
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Dick Cheney Shot A Man In The Face

June 23, 2008

George Carlin, Rest in Peace

Filed under: Humor — alexanderthegreatest @ 7:41 pm
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What a sad loss, our first posthumous Mark Twain honoree. An entertainer who instigated social change, a master of the English language, and a man with enough courage to tell the truth in modern America, this is a severe loss to all of us. Rest in peace, George – we miss you already.

George Carlin

June 19, 2008

Bus Story

Filed under: Humor,Modern Life — alexanderthegreatest @ 10:07 pm
Tags: ,

There’s this woman who takes my bus in the mornings, gets on at the train station downtown. She’s about the size of John Candy, Santa Claus, and the Buddha, put together. Every time she gets on the bus, this woman barks “I need a seat!” and people scurry away like cockroaches being shot at. She needs two seats; if only one becomes available, the person in the second one gets squished against the hand rail, or just pushed off the seat if there’s no armrest. I’ve been that person before – you literally get shoved until this thing is pressing into your side and you need to pull yourself up by the bar.

So, this adult with Down’s syndrome gets on the bus a stop later. Bus pulls in, and the guy tries to hurl himself on like a handicapped version of Superman. Only, someone is coming off, so he stops, backs up to clear a space, then tries it again, but people are still getting out. A third time, nope!, then he finally manages to board. Dude has a giant smile plastered across his face, like “I made it!” He sits down across from Bertha, Destroyer of Worlds, who’s sipping on a jamba juice. Dude starts asking her about it. Keeps circling back to “that’s full of calories,” how many are there, smaller is better, all kinds of stuff, then he tells her he has a calorie counting book if she’d like it–

Right when homegirl started getting royally offended, is when we made it to my stop.

June 3, 2008

Letter to Laura Bush

Filed under: Humor — alexanderthegreatest @ 6:10 pm
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April 30, 2008

Why You Shouldn’t Start a Trick Show

Filed under: Humor,Modern Life,Uncategorized — alexanderthegreatest @ 6:27 pm

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